- Sujuane Smith
"I Got Next!"
I’ll be writing this Blog Topic in two parts: Before and After my Baptism.
Yesterday the announcement was made at church that I’ll be getting baptized on Sunday, August 29, 2021. There’s no turning back now. I originally wanted the Baptism date to be on September 5th, the one year anniversary of my Grandmother’s transition, but God had other plans. I never thought I’d get to this place in my religious journey. In 2019, after my second miscarriage, I was in a very dark place with my relationship with God.
My husband and I decided to “try” to get pregnant, by try I mean we were of the faith that if it happened, it happened. Then……it happened. I got pregnant! It was a total surprise and I didn’t even realize that I wanted to be a mom until that pregnancy test said “positive”. We were overjoyed and ready to do everything the “right” way. The date was December 7, 2018 when I got the exciting news. Never would I have imagined how quickly things would turn dark. January 18, 2019 became another date on my list of Worst Days of My Life. I had a natural miscarriage. At home. By myself. Period.
While my physical wounds were healing, the emotional wounds were gaping wide open. I remember praying to God to “Please not break my heart” (as it pertained to another miscarriage), and He shattered it (or so I thought at the time). I spiraled deep into depression and resented anything having to do with God, Jesus or spirituality. My best friend, April, was literally my angel here on earth. She would check in daily to ensure I was doing ok at best. The one thing she did that made the difference that I didn’t recognize at the time, was her nurturing my relationship with God and Christ. She would send me scriptures and Bible based inspirational articles almost daily. She stayed on me about going to church. Every Sunday I would get a text from her saying “Bible Study starts at 9a, Church starts at 10a”, and every Sunday I would ignore the text. Finally, one Sunday I decided to join her at church, more to satisfy her than myself. BUT GOD!!! I was hooked and have been going ever since. I even help run the Media Ministry at my church. I had no idea of what God was working on behind the scene.
If you read my first blog “What the Hell Happened?!”, you know that 2020 & 2021 literally brought me to my knees. I never imagined at those moments that I would be getting BAPTIZED. So here I am two weeks away from my Big Day and I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. My life is in transition right now and what better way to start my new chapter than with a clean slate with God?
“Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away;
behold all things are become new.”
~2 Corinthians 5:17~
Thanks for reading, See you in two weeks!